How I sought truth and met Jesus

My new book came back from the editor with a comment on the paragraph below, challenging me to tell the story of my search for truth which I had merely alluded to. She felt it would be of interest to the readers, so I did.  The account below is that story and an excerpt from my new book Great God based on psalm 111. It is pulled from the chapter on the truthfulness of God.

Truth has always been of fundamental importance to me and was the means by which I came to faith. The question of the absoluteness of truth and the nature of that absolute truth literally consumed me. I wanted there to be a plurality of equally valid world views and positions and possibilities. But it was clear to me that if truth existed, by its very nature, it would be absolute. I did not fear death, hell, damnation, or misery in life, was not looking for help, emotional or physical. I just needed to know the truth, and it was the quest for truth that led me to examine different truth claims, including the assertions of Christ about Himself, seeking the answer to this one simple question ‘Which of them is truth?’ And by the mercy of God, the conviction of Jesus, the truth was imparted powerfully to my heart, and it has conditioned and determined my choices and worldview since.

It started innocently enough, a simple question in my heart, a thought that if God existed, it would be stupid not to know Him and other ruminations to that effect. Naturally, I thought by signing up for confirmation in the Anglican church, I would find out more about Jesus. I was duly confirmed but came out none the wiser, no more of a believer than before. The questions and the search continued for the next few years. Christians, of course, missed no opportunity to preach to me. Those were the days when you could hardly encounter a born-again Christian who did not try to convert you. But I was highly resistant, profoundly sceptical of Christianity, and deeply disdainful of Pentecostalism. As for the traditional church I grew up in, they had zero credibility in my book.

But the gnawing to know continued. I researched different truth claims and worldviews. The inherent conflicts between them made it intellectually dishonest to embrace them all or pretend it did not matter. That desperation to know the truth would not go away and a few years later, drove me to the New Testament. A simple, irreverent prayer to God, it will hardly qualify as a prayer, just asking if He is really there to reveal Himself and if this Jesus person was who the Bible says He is, to clarify it, too. So, I read the New Testament. Somewhere along the way, my eyes opened to the truth, and the reality and veracity of it all were embedded deeply into my being. I believed. Period. Like Peter, flesh and blood did not reveal it to me, the Spirit of God did. A deep-seated conviction of the divinity of Christ was established within me. I knew what to do. I knelt by my bed and gave my life to Jesus and committed to follow Him. I kept reading, still keeping far away from organised Christianity.

I devoured the Scriptures, and could not get enough of them. And Jesus became very real to me. I knew I had met God. My life changed. But there were questions, oh so many questions. Yes, Jesus is the way, but what about…Fill in the blanks. Then there were lifestyle issues and worldview issues. Jesus seemed to want to control my life and oppose much of what I had held dear. And step by step, the Holy Spirit gave understanding and clarity, and mental fortresses were gradually dismantled. There were so many tributaries to this river, too many to recount here, but I am forever grateful for the work of the Holy Spirit in revealing the Son in my heart.

Therefore, every time we speak of God as being true, His work and Word as being true, it brings back those memories of the search for truth. I am glad the Holy Spirit walked me through it and brought a deep conviction of the truth of the Scriptures and of the revelation of God in Christ. It is essential that, as believers, we fully embrace the Word and the ways of God as truth. Otherwise, one can easily lose oneself in the smorgasbord of spiritual offerings on display today. The truth of God is independent of the opinion of man and is a function of His omniscience and omnipotence. It is not necessarily palatable to man, either.

(end of excerpt)

One prominent Christian leader once mentioned to me that sometimes you wonder if all this is true. I was much younger then and was truly shocked. I guess because my search for truth had been so deliberate and prolonged, relatively, my convictions were deeply rooted. Over the years, I have gained more compassion but have thankfully walked in that same certainty as at the beginning, even more so. Extensive fellowship with the Holy Spirit and deep meditation of the Word establish an anchor in the soul. We need this today because of the morally and spiritually perilous times in which we live.