This morning i found myself saying to God in prayer, Lord, i have nothing to complain about, i find no fault with you. To some that is presumption, to others, healing words. If we are real, we know that often, indeed too often we consciously or unconsciously find fault with God. Life does stuff that point hidden fingers at God and condemn us to an emotional pit and theological bewilderment. And so as I heard myself, unpremeditated and unbidden begin to speak these things I was understandably delighted, finally, child, you are growing up. I celebrate God. He has done me no evil. That makes me very glad, glad that He has done me no evil and even gladder that I know it.
All is not perfect in Bola kingdom, yet God is, and is in His dealings with me. The last time I checked there was much that needed improvement in my current sphere of living. Simply put, I have a long list of things I would like to change, and, like any pastor, or just any human, of people I would like to see change. I have a long list of circumstances I would like to see change, but God is not responsible for any of this. Yet because of our limited understanding of the interplay of the fallenness of the world with its attendant evil, divine sovereignty, and human will we hold God responsible for all that is wrong.
Even those of us who chant God is good every Sunday still sometimes secretly nurse a grudge against God because we think He is God after all, He can do anything, and He did not do that for me, it’s not fair. Sometimes it is also because we have a special relationship and understandably greater expectations which when frustrated, cause us to lose some of our passion and zeal and become less certain about truths we previously espoused. Much of it is deficient theology, much an obsession with self and avoidance of pain, and much just that basic human inability to perceive spiritual reality coupled with innate rebellion.
I have not worked it all out yet, some things I know, some I ponder and accept that I do not know. I do know this, that there is more to everything than meets the eye, that my choices have a lot to do with my circumstances, that evil is a reality and demonic opposition is too, that broken people do not need God’s bidding to hurt others, that God comes through for me in amazing ways, that not everything my flesh desires will be given me, that sacrifice and self denial are as fundamental to faith as blessing and prosperity.
But above all else, this I know, that God is good, thoroughly, completely good; that God is light, in Him there is no darkness, the Scriptures say; that I am loved, precious but not spoilt. I know, in the immortal words of the venerable Polycarp, as he refused to recant and say ‘Caesar is Lord’ in the face of impending martyrdom, that ‘………years I have served Him and He has done me no wrong’. And so irrespective of what is happening or may happen, who is happening or may happen, one thing I know God is not to blame. Where He is concerned I have nothing to complain about for this I know, He has done me no wrong.