Is God really good to me? I know He has given me a new life in Christ, a lovely church, well, many things, but there is so much He expects from me and so many things really essential for my life that I still do not have. At least that’s what ‘B…..’ tells me. Who is ‘B…..’ you ask indignantly? Well you’ll soon find out and then you will know that I am right. For instance, think of all the money God takes from me, I have to give an offering every time the plate goes past, oh, and the tithe. More of my money that God wants for Himself.
Granted the Bible is the authority in my life, but it will not vacuum my floor. The Dyson bagless vacuum cleaner will but it costs 379.9 Euros (in the sale, down from 549.9, (now that is goodness and generosity) but rather than give it to me God takes my money. And if you think I can live without it and opt for a cheaper model, fine, but how about changing my saucepans? Tefal has brought the 10 piece set down from 130 Euros to 60 and I still cannot buy them.
Not that I cannot buy them at all, but I cannot buy them and the 99euro (down from 129) Shiatsu massage seat cover, (still more kindness from ‘B….’). Such a pity given all the time I spend sitting, studying the Bible to preach God’s word. Were I to mention the Remington hair styler you might think me carnal but a woman of God still must look good, a poor appearance is definitely a downer.
And really, one cannot be on a fast all the time, one should be entitled to wake up in the morning to a smell of fresh bread, Jesus ate bread all the time, even multiplied them at least twice, and they always had baskets left over. It’s very spiritual to eat bread to one’s heart content but I cannot, the bread maker ‘B….’ calls ‘essential’ for life is 80euros (down from 100, such grace!). Still more money going into the offering plate that would otherwise greatly enhance my spiritual life.
Then let the skeptics tell me how one can practice hospitality, as indeed the Scriptures enjoin us to do if on top of work, ministry et al I am to spend all day slaving in the kitchen. I don’t have all day, the Magimix kitchen aid will do wonders for me, and the price is down by a humongous 80 Euros. That plus the sleek SEB pressure cooker down by 40 Euros and the steam cooker by 30euros (for healthy eating you know, the Bible says our bodies are the temple of the Holy Spirit) and I will be ready to have the whole church over for meals.
For healthier eating the photo of the Kenwood blender (down by 20 Euros, bless ‘B….’) has some fruits in it, I can already taste the juices I will be able to serve with this kind of acquisition, beats coca cola any day. My, this is just the opportunity I have been waiting for but, I have to write that offering cheque. And for those who think I am being frivolous, I will have you know that I am not in the least bit enticed by the Thalasso set (down by 40 Euros) nor by the fries maker (reduced by a meager ten Euros).
Of course the sewing machine would be nice (it’s a whopping 100 Euros off), if I have it I can make my own clothes, save money on store bought clothes, I’ll be more stylish as I preach the gospel and have money left over to put in the offering. I can sacrifice the dish washer for now, and keep doing dishes by hand despite the 100 euro reduction. That way I’ll hold back less of my tithe, I hope God sees the sacrifice I am making and He blesses me for it. Really, He could have done more for me, the James clan next door has a brand new dishwasher that cost the earth and they are not even Christians. Why does one pray so much if…
I think I will put the ‘B….’ catalogue down, it’s a nice store, they are really generous, at least at sales time, but I think it is making me discontented with my lot. I mean it would be so much nicer to have all these things and show them off to my friends and say ‘God has been good to me’ rather I have to put my money in the offering for ‘evangelism’, so that perfect strangers can come to know Jesus, and does one even get a thank you? No. And of course if I shared any of these thoughts I would be labeled carnal and possibly even ‘ungrateful’ towards God.
Ungrateful, me? This is all for the Lord. How will the people around me see the glory of God in my life if they have better cars, lovelier homes and I have to wash dishes by hand? Yes I think I’ll hold back that offering, buy the bread maker and invite my neighbour Susie to tea with homemade rolls and some of that delicious rose jam I brought back from one of my trips and share the gospel with her. Afterall God sees my heart. Oh dear, He really does, doesn’t He! On second thoughts I believe I will give the offering.
Selah!